At this very moment, I sit in one of my favorite
spots in the entire world.
I'm on my parents' back patio on a sunny day with
a high of 79.
You could say that life is good.
However, to say that I'm not missing another
favorite spot at this very moment would be a lie.
That spot, is the view from right here:
I honestly don't even feel like I've left
Harlaxton for good yet. When we were in Italy (I took a trip to Italy for 8
days before I came home) we all kept saying that it felt so bizarre that we
wouldn't be returning to the Manor when the trip was over: we'd be going back
to the States. I keep feeling like I'll be there in just a week to have a nice
cup of tea with my Northern Irish professor, Caroline Magennis or to sit in the
Italian Gardens and just look at the Manor all afternoon with my iPod in my
ears. But sadly, neither of these are the case.
I don't know when I'll be able to return to the
Manor, but I hope it can be soon. Perhaps when my bank account stops coughing
and wheezing. A piece of my heart is there and always will be, and I just can't
neglect that little piece for the rest of life.
I remember one day before I left the Manor that I
just sat at this spot, pictured above, and wrote like a maniac in my journal
about all the things that I don't regret doing this past semester. And the only
things I regretted were things I didn't do. I absolutely don't regret anything
I actually did. It was all worth it.
I don't know how I came to be such a fortunate
girl. I mean, how many people in the world get to do this, live in a manor
house for a semester? Not many. And I was lucky enough to be one of them. It
still blows my mind.
Not only did I get to live in this amazing place
that I now consider a home-away-from-home, I got to travel across Europe,
visiting amazing cities and nations. I went to not only the UK, but the
Republic of Ireland, Spain, and Italy.
Not that I enjoy quoting myself, but I guess I
just want to let you know that I didn't make this up while sitting on my
parents' patio.
I was lucky enough to give a speech the night of
our closing Valedictory Dinner (which doesn't meant that I'm special
academically or anything, it's just the name for many closing banquets for
colleges in the UK). In this speech, I tried my best to summarize our Harlaxton
experience: (this is from the notes I wrote for the speech that I saved in
Microsoft Word)
"...the
most important thing I’ve learned is how much I don’t know about the world.
Before this experience, I hadn’t been abroad. This experience has let me know
that the world is much bigger than little Kentucky, but that I also need to see
more of both. It’s been both humbling and amazing.
I
don’t want to look back on these past 3 and a half months and think 'Oh, I wish
I could go back to the way I was then.' I want to see it as a course-changer. I
want to see it as the point in my life when things changed, and I became a
better person because of it. Because that’s exactly what happened. I think that
if we are not changed by the Harlaxton experience, then we haven’t truly sucked
the marrow out of it. Harlaxton has gotten our feet wet for having amazing life
experiences, and they’ve prepared us to see the rest of the world."
I still feel that way. I now have a craving for travel, but travel isn't limited to international or national travel. It could also mean right outside my backdoor. I don't think I need to see more of Kentucky, I know I need to see more of Kentucky. I need to take time to appreciate this state, its beauty, and its ups and downs.
Also, like I said, I want Harlaxton to be a point in my life that I look back on and don't regret because of the type of person it made me. If I were a character in a novel, Harlaxton would be an experience in that novel that helped shaped my character development to make me a completely different one by the end of the novel compared to the beginning. Does that sound coherent? Probably not, but let's keep going.
Many people I've talked to who have studied
abroad usually have a song they feel like encompasses their time there. Me? I
have a quote, one by e.e. cummings, from his poem "53."
"may my mind stroll about hungry
and fearless and thirsty and supple
and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young."
and even if it's sunday may i be wrong
for whenever men are right they are not young."
At Harlaxton, this was how I felt. This was the
type of spirit that I felt I had in me from January until the moment I landed
in the States. I don't want to lose this spirit just because I'm in the States
and back home. It applies here too. I felt "hungry and fearless and
thirsty and supple" for life and the world. And at the same time, I was
wrong a lot, and I liked that. Because I learned.
And boy, did I learn a lot. I've never learned so
much in a single semester in all my life. It's absolutely incredible. I would
love to give you a list of the things I learned, but that list would probably
wrap around the globe three times. So all I can say is go. Go abroad and
experience this for yourself. You won't regret it. All you will regret is not
doing it. Far too many people I've talked to have regretted not studying
abroad. Please don't be one of those. I'm lucky enough that I don't have to
be.
My gosh, I have so many people to thank. My
friends, for one. For remembering I was alive while still at Harlaxton and
conceding to my begs for Skype dates. And for encouraging me to go abroad in
the first place. And for listening to my over-indulged stories now that I'm
back. Thank you.
Extended family. I mean, you guys are always
great. Thanks for stalking my Facebook and keeping up with my time abroad, as
well as encouraging me to go.
My sisters. You guys actually missed me, and vice
versa. But this time, we actually verbalized it. That's a big step for us. Go
us. We're moving on up. Maybe now that we'll be in the same country for the
coming year we might actually see each other more than a couple weeks at a time
and just on weekends. Looking forward to it.
The parental units. I wouldn't have even gone
abroad if they hadn't done so many things. Like give birth to me on a cold
December night. But more than that, they let me go. And they helped me to go.
They withstood a lot of stress this semester with me being in a foreign country
and they've been forgiving on so many levels. I owe them more than I can ever
repay.
And when I thank this next person, it's not out
of obligation. It's out of need.
Jesus was literally with me throughout the entire
semester. Like always, I didn't give him the attention he deserved. However, he
stuck around, like he always does. And even when I don't. He helped me through
the difficult times and helped me to enjoy the great ones. I was fortunate
enough that he would let me have this wonderful semester in which I get to see
more of his world and learn more about the people that live in it. I'm
convinced this isn't the last time he wants me abroad.
To everyone, I've had the time of my life. And I
owe it all to you.